A Summer Heart

Today I wanted to write a really brilliant post.
Something inspiring. Or clever and smart. Or wildly funny and entertaining.

But I'm not gonna lie. This week has been cold...

...wear-your-scarf-and-puffy-coat-inside cold,
...hot-chocolate-doesn't-make-it-any-better cold,
...brain-freeze cold.

And since my brain is frozen, all I can think about is summer.

Mmm, summer...

...step-outside-and-sweat summer,
...humidity-you-can-practically-eat summer,
...throw-and-go-hair-days summer.

Summer.

For as long as I can remember, my heart has belonged to summer.

I love the heat, the sun, and the carefree days at the pool.
I love late, sultry walks with fireflies, and midnight drives with the top laid back.
I love the strong, incessant buzz of the cicada, and the throaty growl of the frog.
I love sweaty runs, and cool, crisp watermelon. In that order.

I just love all that summer has to offer! 

But the transition between seasons always leaves me contemplative.
Watching the leaves gradually turn, shake loose, and wistfully settle to the ground,
Feeling the winds change and the earth freeze beneath my feet,
I can't help but wonder...

Just which season of life I am in? 

The hair is graying, the skin is wrinkling, and the body is realizing limitations the mind refuses to accept.
The kids are leaving, the once impossible schedule is relenting, and the balance of life is shifting.

Everything tells me my summer is winding down.

Everything except for my heart.

I have a heart that fights and fights for summer.
For a summer where the mind is clear and the body is strong;
For long, warm days that linger deep into the late years of my life.
For an "Indian Summer" of my own.

But buried within I know my summer will one day give way to autumn, then ultimately to winter.
And when it does I hope to have gained an appreciation for the wonders of those seasons;
A recognition of the peace and wisdom that comes from knowledge of seasons past,
And a profound understanding of the glorious spring that will follow.

But mostly I hope to find a place where all the seasons of my life can fit seamlessly with my 

Forever Summer Heart.

Under The Christmas Tree

Today is December 1st.

I used to have all of my Christmas stuff up by the weekend following Thanksgiving.
Then I used to have it up by the Monday after Thanksgiving.
And then I used to have it up by November 29. Or 30th.

Today is December 1st. And I still have unpacked boxes of Christmas decor scattered everywhere.

This was not my intention, but important things got in the way.
You know, like "Angry Birds" and "Words With Friends".
(Don't judge. We made it into a family holiday event.)

But you should know that in spite of the boxes littering my living room, the Christmas tree is up.
With two ornaments on it.

And nothing underneath.

I don't know what is typically found under your tree by now. But mine usually sees a tree skirt.
And then presents. Which I usually shoot to have under the tree by midnight on December 24th.

However, this year I found an early unexpected something under my Christmas tree.

I found it when I climbed under the tree to wiggle it around a bit in its tight corner...
     ...then rolled onto my back to breathe out a deep sigh after some long, hard days (months).
I found it as I laid there, quiet and still, and opened my eyes to view my tree from the underside.

It only took a second to realize why my dog loves to hang out there.
It's cozy and all safe feeling.
And I said so out loud.
So Kid Middle crawled under and joined me.

Lying there, we felt like campers in dense forest, looking up into twinkling skies.
In a climate-controlled environment.
We talked about camping, and forests, and stars.
And microwave ready S'mores in climate-controlled environments.

And then we began to giggle.
     And laugh.
     And laugh some more.
Until tears were rolling down our cheeks and our abs began to ache.
It felt so good that we just laughed for as long as we could, for no reason at all.
Except to laugh.

And in those few moments under the Christmas tree I found Laughter.
And little slivers of Joy and Peace.

Sometimes I forget about these things.
I don't mean to. It's just happens.
I get busy with life, and caught up in the distractions, conflicts, and challenges that get in the way of what matters most.
And before I know it, I've forgotten what Laughter, and Joy, and Peace feel like.
And sometimes when I have forgotten I don't even know it till something comes along to remind me.

The fact that this reminder came with the Christmas tree is not completely surprising.
I have always loved putting the ornaments on the tree.
Each one carries a special memory that I get a chance to revisit as I unwrap and carefully place it.
I planned it this way from the beginning. And have loved it ever since.

But it takes an empty and bare tree to hold ornaments.
I don't usually like empty and bare.
Because it feels just like it sounds.
So it was surprising that the reminder came from time spent there.

But now I have fallen in love with the unadorned Christmas tree.
It is simple.
It is beautiful.
And I will forevermore see it as hopeful.
Because this year under the Christmas tree I didn't just find Laughter, and Joy, and Peace.

I created a memory.
And found a little bit of me.

Sometimes discoveries like this come in unexpected ways.
And sometimes they come by seeing things from under instead of out.
But if we pay attention they can remind us of the forgotten things that matter most.

May your Holiday Season be happy and full,

replete with discovery and memories.

And Laughter, and Joy, and Peace.