The Christmas Letter

I know, it's been forever. Because Christmas happens. And so does other stuff.

Like a house full of company for 12 days. Followed by a few days away to evaluate my life.
And by a few, I mean 15.

After that, I came home to Christmas cards still taped to my front door and a stack of Christmas letters on the counter. I like the Christmas cards on the front door. They are cheery and remind me of what beautiful friends and family I have.

But the stack of Christmas letters reminds me that I skipped reading through some of them and need to catch up. And that this is the second year in a row that I have not managed to get my own Christmas letter written.

Please understand this was never my intention. I always intend to read the letters. All the letters. Every last word of every last letter.
And I always intend to write my own letter.
I even spend a fair amount of every September writing them in my head.

They usually take on three forms.

Number 1: The Completely Unrealistic Christmas Letter

This letter is full of all of the wonderful things our kids have accomplished this year.

Like perfect scores on the ACT and SAT.
And essays that won them a flight on Air Force One.
And winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

It's also full of all the amazing places we have traveled.
Like Prague.
And Easter Island.
And the moon.

It makes everyone want to be us.
And is completely made up.

Number 2: The Completely Unrealistic Opposite Christmas Letter

This letter is full of all the things we hope never happen in our lives.

Like our kids being sent to rehab.
Or being paroled.
Or holding the Walmart hostage.

It includes vacations to Wichita.
Or Topeka.
Or jail.

It makes nobody want to be us.
And is completely made up.

Number 3: The Short, Sweet and to the Point Letter

It's pretty simple and goes like this...

Our kids are better than your kids!
Merry Christmas!

It's my personal favorite. And completely true.

But since this is really a little rude and I was fresh out of writing inspiration, I decided to turn the letter over to Little Man.

And this is what he came up with.

(Please remember he is 15. And that should about cover the disclaimer.)

Here we go...
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This year for our Christmas card, we have decided to take a step back from ourselves and instead take a look at our spectacular dog named, Cosmo!

Cosmo, quite simply, is a boss. He eats twice a day (morning and night), along with whatever human munchies he can snag! He doesn’t really like to play fetch, but he makes up for that by being super cuddly. He’s basically the coolest and the cutest dog ever, especially when he has a nice haircut! And ohh man, you should see this little stud (muffin?) in a puppy sweater vest! We have had him for a little over 7 years, and the only times we’ve regretted having him is when he eats all our flip flops o_O. 

Anyway, Cosmo is a beast little dog. And the rest of the family is doing pretty good… I guess…

Merry Christmas!

-The Gille’s

(Conceptualized and composed by Landon Gille... in 3 minutes... or less)

PS. If you really want to know what's going on, check out my mom's blog: (Insert Blog Website Here)

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Okay. Did any of you find that as amusing as I did?

I am not kidding when I say that I laughed and laughed when I read it.
My favorite part? His great description of how the family is doing.
And the time he took to conceptualize and write this lovely letter? Thank you, Little Man, for stating the obvious.
And I'm pretty sure the shameless blog plug exists because he had just read about how to make money writing a blog.
(Please note: I don't make any money from writing this blog!)

If you are on my Christmas card list you will know that this letter never made it out. Even though I wanted it to. But you should also know that I will treasure it forever and it will always make me giggle just a little bit.

Not to mention...

Our dog is better than your dog!

Happy New Year!