Embracing the OCD

True confessions:

I sometimes watch shows about OCD.
I sometimes shake my head a little when someone has to check to make sure the oven is turned off...
Fifteen times. And then again on their lunch break.
I sometimes would like to think I don't have these kinds of issues.
Because they are completely irrational. Right?

But then I rearrange the eggs in my egg cartons so they are perfectly balanced.
And I make my bed before getting into it at night. Because I cannot sleep in an unmade bed.
(True story.)
Sadly, there is no denying that even though I don't wash my hands till they are raw, I sometimes do have these kinds of issues.

And now I have a new one.

It has to do with a key. To my car. And little running shorts. With little pockets. Because all shorts for hot weather running are little. With little pockets.

And the story goes like this:

I recently moved and am no longer just a hop, skip and jump away from running trails that go for miles. So now when I wish to run them I have to drive to them.

This is usually okay.
Unless I'm in a rush to get in a long run before the sun goes down.
And it is hot, so I am wearing little running shorts. With little pockets.
And my brain is a little tired.
Yes, this combo only means only one thing.
Trouble.

So...imagine me.
In a hurry.
Fumbling with an apartment key and a car key.
Thinking I'm all clever and will run with just one key.
In my little pocket.

Imagine me.
Still in a hurry.
Quickly putting said key in said little pocket.

And now imagine me.
Closing the car door.
SLAM!

That's right.

Now imagine me at the sound of SLAM!
Realizing that said key in said little pocket is not car key.
It is apartment key.

AAAAACK!!

And imagine me.
Not swearing. I promise. Not even close.
(But I may have stamped my foot once or twice. Like a two-year old.)

And this is how my brain processed this event:

"Dang!! I just locked my car key in the car!! I don't have a car key on me!! I only have an apartment key!!

*thinks*

"Who can I call? NO ONE!! No one has another car key but me!! And my other car key is in my apartment!! With my other apartment key!! And no one has another apartment key!!

*thinks*

"OH, wait!!! I have an apartment key in my little shorts. In my little pocket. Well, at least I can get into my apartment to get my car key.

*thinks*

"But wait!! I DROVE here!! And I can't get into my car!! I am going to have to RUN to my apartment!! AND BACK!!! Grrr...!!"

And I made about this much sense in my head. With about that many exclamation points.

I had not planned a route for this run. I had instead roughly figured 55 minutes out, 55 minutes back and I'd be close enough to the mileage I needed. But now I had to change my plan. And recalculate.

This really should not have been hard.
Except for me.
Because for starters, I honestly had no idea how far away my apartment was from where I parked.
And my apartment was in the opposite direction of where I wanted to run.
And the sun was setting quickly so I had to be sure and finish the woodsy part of my run first.

So what did I do?
Looked at the sun and panicked, of course.
And just started running, trying to recalculate as I went.

Now is a good time for you to know that when I run I experience a complete brain purge.
And I can no longer complete a sentence.
Or do simple math.

Which means one thing...

Recalculation = Miscalculation.

Long story short, that is exactly what happened.
Gross miscalculation.

Way more than 55 minutes out and 55 minutes back I finally reached my apartment.
And my car key.
Then I ran back to my car.
And drove home exhausted.
With jello legs.

Enter the new OCD habit:

Carefully check to make sure car key, not apartment key, is in hand.
Carefully check this again.
Carefully put car key, not apartment key, in little pocket.
Carefully check that it is indeed car key, not apartment key, in little pocket.
Carefully check this again.
And again.
And again.
Then one more time just for good measure.
Sheepishly close car door.
Check key again.
And again.
And again.
At every mile of the run.
Breathe a sigh of relief when run is over and key in little pocket is indeed car key.

*Breath in. Breathe out. Sigh. With a smile.*

So there you have it.
The new habit and the reason behind it.

Trust me. It is completely necessary.
And totally rational.

And make no mistake...I am embracing the OCD!!

Remembering

Memorial Day.

A federal holiday set aside to remember and honor those who died while serving in the Armed Forces.

In commemoration of this day there is one particularly stunning display near where I live.
American flags, 2,000 strong, waving in the breeze, beautifully visible from the highway.
Colorful, proud, and in every way brave.
A majestic memorial to those who died that we might live free.
And in every way I am grateful.

Over the years this holiday has come to mean more than just remembering those who have served in the Armed Forces.
Now we also honor loved ones.
Those who simply served.

So today I am remembering my mom.
And thinking of the times I have wished for her over the past many months.
The conversations I have needed, the advice I would seek for, the tears I would share with.
She carefully taught those who surrounded her...how to surround others.
For that, I have not been alone.

She loved God, family, and country, and helped me understand that freedom isn't free.
And in every way, I am grateful.

Remember.

Happy Memorial Day and welcome to summer.

The Dream

It has been exactly two months and two days since I last blogged. My longest blogging dry spell ever.

There are reasons for this, not the least of which includes a wedding.
And a separation.
In the same month.
It's been a little overwhelming.
And so the blog has suffered, too.

But several nights ago I had a dream.
A very vivid dream.
In it I was wearing braided pigtails.
And cute yellow galoshes.
It involved a trip to a farm for a Large Family Gathering.
(Not my family. Or my farm.)
It also involved tractors, and trucks, and horses, and barns, and cows, and hogs, and...corn on the cob.
There was a large garden full of squash, and peas, and potatoes, and tomatoes, and peppers, and cucumbers, and strawberries, and...corn on the cob.
It was intensely colorful and nothing short of a visual smorgasbord.

But best of all was The Sky.
There was a spectacular storm rolling in, streaking the heavens with brilliant greys, blues and purples.
All streaks swept in one direction, beckoning the eye deep into the horizon.
And then deeper still.

The Large Family Gathering was wanting to talk to me and trying to pull me away from the earthy wonders.
To feed me...corn on the cob.
But all I wanted to do was take pictures of the tractors, the trucks, the barns, the cows, the hogs, the squash, the peas, the potatoes, the tomatoes, the peppers, the cucumbers, the strawberries...
And more than anything, The Sky.

And then blog.

So in my dream I did just that.
And I composed a really good blog post.
Complete with really good pictures.
And I felt happy.
Even though I was up to my knees in rich, muddy, farm soil.

I'm pretty sure that a dream interpreter could tell me all kinds of things about what this dream meant. Especially the knee deep mud.
Or the stormy skies.
But to me it mostly meant just one thing.
That my soul was yearning to get back to some of the activities I love.
Like photographing and blogging.

So after two months, two days, two wedding receptions, two trips, two alternate living spaces, and some really strange dreams away, this is my awkward return to the blog.

Sans photos.

Surely there can be nowhere to go but...
Better.