Monday Morning Rant

I'm sorry to start the week with a rant, but sometimes I just can't help myself. 

And this is definitely one of those times.

My rant for today actually started a few weeks ago when I got a pedicure. Please know that I love a good pedicure! Honestly. If I could get one every day I would. Followed by a massage. Then a shopping spree.

But this most recent pedicure? 

Two words. 

Really. Bad. 

For starters, the man who did it scrubbed like a girl. And when I say this I am seriously talking about a girl. Who is about 6. It was the wimpiest exfoliating, lotioning, massaging, and everything-else-that-is-good about a pedicure that I have ever experienced!

And then I made a fatal pedi mistake. I asked for a decoration on my big toes. I usually like a little decoration on my big toes, and take an unreasonable amount of satisfaction from having a little crystal to rub my feet against. Weird, I know. But I love it. Almost to the point of obsession.

But when I asked for it this time I did not know that my nail technician 

was actually a closet artist. Or so he thought.

And the way his eyes lit up as he rolled across the floor to get his decorating caddy 

should have been a clear sign that I was in trouble! 

It started like this:

Melon colored sparkly polish. Okay, I freely admit that this was all my fault. Because I chose it. And I did second guess it about 10 times. As each toe of the stunningly beautiful girl beside me was painted in a very sophisticated neutral color.

The sparkly melon color may or may not have been a mistake. This I will never know because of what happened next...

A) A white flower on each of my big toes. Not a problem, though I'm quite certain there could have been a better color choice for melon polish.

B) White flower followed by....red stripes? Yes, you read that right. Red stripes. And since I was in a good mood that day, the beginning of a giggle.

C) Eh....red stripes followed by yellow polka-dots. True story. Oy. (More giggling.)

D) Yellow polka-dots followed by very long and large bright green leaves, extending diagonally across nearly the entire surface of the nail. Are we serious? Apparently so, because the nail technician was clearly pleased with himself. And I was now giggling audibly. I couldn't help it.

E) Then the crystal. Ah! I love the crystal and it always makes me smile, and usually signals the end of decoration on the toes.

But this time? Not so.....

F) Must. First. Add:    Silver Sparkly Leaf Lining!     Huh.....?

And I officially have a party on my toes!!
A very obnoxious party.

Here is proof. 

You needn't look far to see everything that is wrong with this pedicure.
Starting with the over-coating of the topcoat.
Not to mention the poor cuticle trimming.
Or the party.

Which brings me to my rant...

This morning I removed the polish, which should have lasted much longer than it did. And my toenails now need clipping. But I cannot find a good pair of clippers anywhere!! Am I the only one with this problem?

I promise that I have purchased no less than 20 pair of good clippers in the last not so very long. One time I even bought every single person in the house their own pair of good clippers at the same time.

But what was there to be found this morning? Only the bad clippers. The ones that have been passed down from generation to generation (trust me...this is something that should never happen). The ones that are rusty. The ones that are dull from cutting clothing tags and loose threads.
Only the worst of the clippers are to be found.

And why do they even exist in my home?
I. Do. Not. Know.
Not one good pair in sight!

So you should know that as soon as I click "publish post" and throw on a pair of shoes you will find me at the Walmart. With long toenails. Sans shower and make-up.

I will be purchasing 5 pair of good clippers. For myself.
I will hide them everywhere.
And then make a spreadsheet to remind me where I put them.

Lucky for me, I have this to make it all better.

Monday morning rant over. 

And why shouldn't it be? 

Isn't he about the cutest thing you have ever seen?

: )   : )   : )