Jeans Shopping

Jeans shopping. Ugh.

It's the worst, right? But awhile ago I lost some weight and told myself that after I had maintained for a year I'd head to Buckle and buy myself some of "the most amazing jeans" my daughters are always telling me about. Well, it's now 18 months later and I needed a little shopping therapy the other day. So I dragged Kid Four to the local mall and into Buckle.

This is Kid Four. She is easy to drag to the mall.

You should know that this store intimidates me. A lot. I am way too old to be in there. Or to buy jeans with sparkly pockets. And I was warned by Kid Four that the guy sales people always help out the chicks.

Could jeans shopping get any worse?

But I have been brainwashed for years that it would be worth it to give it a try. So I held my wrinkled forehead high and started browsing.

It wasn't long before Attractive Young Male was hanging out asking me about sizes.

What size am I?
Really? Is it okay for a guy to ask that question?
And I was suddenly feeling a little exposed. Because the truth is that every single stinkin' pair of jeans I own are different sizes.
And they all fit the same.

Then he asked about styles. Whew. I question I knew for sure about.
The answer goes like this...

NO SKINNY JEANS! The End.

Well, not really the end, because no blingy bum either.
Now The End.

Oh, except for no frontal thigh fading things going on to accentuate the obscene.
And please search for pockets that will make my rear look narrower.
Now The End.
For real.

And then I waited as Attractive Young Male went and grabbed a stack of jeans. A very tall stack.

(A photo while we wait...)

This is Kid Four looking all sassy in jeans. 

They may, or may not, be from Buckle. 

I really have no idea.

Then the best thing happened! 

While I tried stuff on, and between helping other customers, and fetching me more jeans, 

Attractive Young Male decided to strike up a conversation with Kid Four.

Trust me when I tell you that there is not much that is more amusing than listening to a guy 

trying pick up your daughter on the other side of the dressing room door.

And this is how it went:

Attractive Young Male: So....you off work today?

Kid Four: No...I'm home from college till January.

(And I think, "What does that have to do with anything?)

Attractive Young Male: Taking a semester off?

Kid Four: No...I go from January to July.

Attractive Young Male: Oh, so are you working then, or what?

(See? He totally thought the same thing I did.)

Kid Four: Um, no. I just kind of hang out at home.

(And I think, "Nice. You just admitted to hanging out at home.")

Attractive Young Male: Oh. Well do you know of anything fun to do around here at night?

Kid Four: Um, no. Not really.

(This just gets better and better.)

Attractive Young Male: Oh, so there's not really anything to do?

Kid Four: Well, I don't really know. Before I went to school I spent every night at the ballet studio.

(Yep. That's my girl.)

Attractive Young Male: Oh, so you do ballet?

Kid Four: Yeah.

Attractive Young Male: Cool.

He was trying so hard! And all I could do was giggle.

Kid Four (to me): Hey, mom. We need to leave in 40 minutes.

And Attractive Young Male tries again: So, you have to leave soon? What do you have going on tonight?

Kid Four: Oh....I'm going to a church thing.

Attractive Young Male: Oh, cool.

Okay, honestly. Could she have given him any less to go on? 

I'm not sure whether I should be really proud of her aloofness or enroll her in flirting class!

And twenty-five pair of jeans later (yes, really, twenty-five pairs!) I finally found one pair (yes, just one pair) that wanted to hang out in my closet. Sadly, they didn't have the right inseam length. So I left the store empty handed.

But Kid Four didn't! 

Because as we left, Attractive Young Male handed both me and Kid Four a business card. 

Mine had his name and the jeans styles and sizes I liked best.

Hers had his name...
And phone number.

We giggled all the way to the car. And then all the way home, as we revisited this exchange.

It went like this:

Kid Four: I just kind of hang out at home?

Me: (I Laugh. Hard.)

Kid Four: I spent every night at the ballet studio??

Me: (I Laugh. Harder.)

Kid Four: I'm going to 'a church thing'?

Me: (I Laugh. Hysterically.)

Kid Four: Really? Could I sound any more lame?!?!

Me: And he still gave you his number!

Both of us officially laughed so hard we got our ab workout for the day. 

But you should know that it gets even better.
Because when we got home Kid Four realized she had some Jimmy John's left in her teeth!
Wow.
And still a number.

You should also know that she is on a date with him. Tonight.

And I can't wait to jeans shop with Kid Four again! : )

This is Kid Four smiling.
Without Jimmy John's in her teeth.

Tomorrow I am going to play with this pic in Photoshop.
Which I have next to no idea how to use.