Bad Words

Words. I am in love with them. And each of them for a different reason.

I love what some words mean. Like "bumptious". One day this word showed up on my dictionary.com app as the Word of the Day. You should know that I am addicted to dictionary.com. And Word of the Day. I immediately liked this word. It's fun in every way! But it gets even better when you know what it means. Offensively self-assertive. Yep. That's the definition. Write it down. Add it to your vocab. It's pretty much
amazing. Because I've no doubt we all know someone who is bumptious.

Then there are words that just feel good when you say them. Like "pop". I don't know what it is about this word, but I honestly can't say it without making noises with my mouth. It's pathetic. But I love it. "Pop, pop, pop." And for just a few seconds (or eh...minutes?) I feel like a kid again. A very annoying kid.

There are also words that sound good. Like "celestial". Take a second to say this. Listen to it. And now close your eyes and feel it. It just kind of transports you to a different place, doesn't it? Mmm. Celestial.

Until your teenager slams a door and shouts, "I HATE YOU!" Which, by the way, means you are a very good parent.

But best of all are the words that feel good, sound good, and have great definitions. Like "serendipity" and "quintessential". If you don't know what these words mean look them up. It's worth the effort. And I feel quite certain they could be effectively used in the same flowery sentence.

Yep. Good words pretty much rock my world.

But all things have opposites.

Enter bad words. And I am not talking about swear words here. I am talking about regular words. Regular words that just should not be used on a regular basis. They aren't pleasing to listen to, they are challenging to say, and sometimes their definitions are just all messed up.

For example, take the word "moist". Ew. This is not fun to say. Or hear. And it leads the mind to all kinds of icky places. I know this because I used the thesaurus on dictionary.com to try and find a pleasant synonym to replace it with. There isn't one. I consider "moist" to be a very limited use word. It is only good when used to describe something like cake. Or...hmm. Nope. Just cake.

Then there is "condiments". Okay. Who came up with this word? Is there anything about this that screams mustard, ketchup, or relish? I think not! Please. Can we just call them "toppings"?

And how about "incumbent"? This word is just confusing to me. It's kind of neutral when it comes to hearing or saying it, which in and of itself puts it in the please-let's-find-a-different-word category. But it has several meanings. And they could not be more different. Check it out.

1. holding an indicated position, role, office, etc., currently.
2. obligatory (often followed by on or upon)
3. resting, lying, leaning, or pressing on something

Is anyone else bothered by how unconnected the definitions of this word are? I mean, honestly. This word just states, "I sure as heck hope I was listening to the rest of the conversation." Must. Have. Context.

There are other regular bad words out there. Like midst, Arctic, candidate, ordinances, clothes, width and prerogative. They are just So Much Work to pronounce! And all good words should roll out easily. These do not. I consider them to be high maintenance, low yield vocabulary.

And let's not forget about bad words like vacuum, broccoli, accessory, cemetery, mnemonic (okay, that's not really a regular word, but hang with me and you'll see where I going with this), knowledge, judgement, cantaloupe and absence. Help!! I am a really good speller. I am not making this up. But I have to Think So Hard to spell these words correctly! And spelling should be fun, not work. So I just want to know, who on earth decided how things should be spelled? Because sometimes it makes no sense at all.

And while we're at it, who gave the spelling-rule-breaking-words permission to break the spelling rules?

Annoying.

I know. It may seem a little irrational and absurd. But words are such an important part of a rich and interesting existence! So this is a call to everyone to step it up just a little. Expand your vocabulary. Learn a few new words. Good and bad. One day, I promise, they will come in very handy for effectively expressing yourself.

And let's not forget to thank our spell-checking devices everywhere.

Except for the one on my iPhone that randomly wants to change the spelling of my nickname "Kam" to Lam, Jan, or most recently Jam. I'll let you think in your own mind the problems that signing off as Jan instead of Kam could cause...