The other day I got a text from Kid Four. Usually her texts are about boys and outfits. Or the navicular and scaphoid. But this one was about potato bread. Yes, potato bread. She sent it at 12:04am, when I was already in bed. So in the morning I awoke to this:
Kid Four: "Mom. They don't have potato bread in the potato state!!!"
Here is where you should know that Kid Four is currently attending school in Idaho. The Potato State. And that the, "Mom", with a period after it, was written to sound like, "Dude." For some reason, first thing in the morning, this text was a really funny thing to me! And it made me smile.
Me: "Ok, that's just weird."
Kid Four: "I know! I'm thinking, I am a grocery shopper in the potato state. I expect to see the full spectrum of potato products on the shelves."
By then I was giggling. Aloud.
Me: "Haha!! Will you please text me something funny every morning?"
Kid Four: "Sure, but I'm being serious! At the checkout the girl was like, 'Did you find everything okay?' And I said, 'No. You don't have potato bread. I don't understand. This is the potato state. How do you not have potato bread?' And she freaking looked at me like I was crazy!!! She actually said, 'What's potato bread?' I gave up."
And that came at just the right moment. Because by then I was laughing. Aloud. And tears were trickling out out of my eyes. Probably because I could vividly picture how this entire scene went down.
And how Kid Four is So. Done. With. Drama.
Me: "Hahahahaha!!! Oh my gosh, that is hilarious!"
Kid Four: I'm glad you can laugh about my frustration!"
Me: "Why were you wanting potato bread, anyway?"
Kid Four: "It just sounded super good!!"
It is super good.
Me: "This makes me wonder if potato bread actually has any potato content."
Kid Four: "Haha, you would wonder that!"
It's true.
I would.
And I did.
So I went to my local grocer.
And this is what I found:
Several different brands of potato bread.
There were more. I didn't photograph them.
Because I can only stand so much attention from photographing potato bread at the grocery store.
All had the super cool dusting of what is most certainly potato flour, right?
Except for the loaf below.
Which is also this.
Butter Top Potato Bread?
Really?
This is so wrong.
Really?
This is so wrong.
But most importantly, the ingredients.
Can you see that?
Contains 2% OR LESS of.... potato flour.
(I know. It's blurry. Don't judge. It was taken in the bread aisle. With a cell phone. And onlookers.)
Except for this loaf, which doesn't specify. Sketchy, if you ask me.
But look carefully at the bottom right hand corner of that photo.
Then wonder as I did, "What really can you expect from Bimbo Bakeries?"
Lesson learned:
1. Potato bread can be found in our local grocer's aisle in several different brands. I do not live in The Potato State.
2. Potato bread does in fact have potato content in it. If you count 2% or less potato flour as potato content.
3. Potato bread doesn't really photograph that well.
4. Kid Four isn't really done with drama. And I happen love that about her. It makes me smile, and giggle, and laugh till tears trickle out of my eyes.
5. Some questions don't need answering. Like the one about Bimbo Bakeries. I'll be leaving that one alone.