The other day I got a text from Kid Four. Usually her texts are about boys and outfits. Or the navicular and scaphoid. But this one was about potato bread. Yes, potato bread. She sent it at 12:04am, when I was already in bed. So in the morning I awoke to this:
Kid Four: "Mom. They don't have potato bread in the potato state!!!"
Here is where you should know that Kid Four is currently attending school in Idaho. The Potato State. And that the, "Mom", with a period after it, was written to sound like, "Dude." For some reason, first thing in the morning, this text was a really funny thing to me! And it made me smile.
Me: "Ok, that's just weird."
Kid Four: "I know! I'm thinking, I am a grocery shopper in the potato state. I expect to see the full spectrum of potato products on the shelves."
By then I was giggling. Aloud.
Me: "Haha!! Will you please text me something funny every morning?"
Kid Four: "Sure, but I'm being serious! At the checkout the girl was like, 'Did you find everything okay?' And I said, 'No. You don't have potato bread. I don't understand. This is the potato state. How do you not have potato bread?' And she freaking looked at me like I was crazy!!! She actually said, 'What's potato bread?' I gave up."
And that came at just the right moment. Because by then I was laughing. Aloud. And tears were trickling out out of my eyes. Probably because I could vividly picture how this entire scene went down.
And how Kid Four is So. Done. With. Drama.
Me: "Hahahahaha!!! Oh my gosh, that is hilarious!"
Kid Four: I'm glad you can laugh about my frustration!"
Me: "Why were you wanting potato bread, anyway?"
Kid Four: "It just sounded super good!!"
It is super good.
Me: "This makes me wonder if potato bread actually has any potato content."
Kid Four: "Haha, you would wonder that!"
It's true.
I would.
And I did.
So I went to my local grocer.
And this is what I found:
Several different brands of potato bread.
There were more. I didn't photograph them.
Because I can only stand so much attention from photographing potato bread at the grocery store.
All had the super cool dusting of what is most certainly potato flour, right?
Except for the loaf below.
Which is also this.
Butter Top Potato Bread?
Really?
This is so wrong.
Really?
This is so wrong.
But most importantly, the ingredients.
Can you see that?
Contains 2% OR LESS of.... potato flour.
(I know. It's blurry. Don't judge. It was taken in the bread aisle. With a cell phone. And onlookers.)
Except for this loaf, which doesn't specify. Sketchy, if you ask me.
But look carefully at the bottom right hand corner of that photo.
Then wonder as I did, "What really can you expect from Bimbo Bakeries?"
Lesson learned:
1. Potato bread can be found in our local grocer's aisle in several different brands. I do not live in The Potato State.
2. Potato bread does in fact have potato content in it. If you count 2% or less potato flour as potato content.
3. Potato bread doesn't really photograph that well.
4. Kid Four isn't really done with drama. And I happen love that about her. It makes me smile, and giggle, and laugh till tears trickle out of my eyes.
5. Some questions don't need answering. Like the one about Bimbo Bakeries. I'll be leaving that one alone.
Cried laughing in the library while I read this. Only your blog and Glozell has ever made me cry laughing in a public place. You should feel honored!
ReplyDeleteHa ha, I feel bad for the poor kid because in fact unless the world there has drastically changed they do indeed sell orawheat potato bread at Broulims on main street. I know this because a good 30 dollars from our budget each month was spend on this bread. Which is CRAZY because that was simply to satisfy one man's hunger. Next time have her ask a competent cashier or better yet find the owner who usually is around there somewhere. He is a cute old man hanging out giving away free stuff from the bakery in the mornings.
ReplyDeleteOh the simple joys of living in a small town, I never had to buy an artisan bread I just sent my cute kids to say hello to our high councilman and pow free bread!
Thank you, I needed a laugh tonight! Came at just the right time for me, too! Especially when I read the part about the cashier not knowing what potato bread was, you checking up on it, and finally to top it off--Bimbo Bakeries--why would they think that should be the name of their company--who thought of the idea & why was it actually the name they kept??? Now, I'll have to see if my stores carry Potato Bread. I wonder if I would have onlookers if I took pictures of it, too? I might try it--I could use another laugh!
ReplyDeleteOK. I have been making lots of different kinds of beads lately and am familiar with potato bread (after all, I was born in Idaho), but have never seen bread flour in the baking aisle. Maybe I should try drying some potatoes and grinding them in my little food mill, then substituting 2% of the flour my favorite recipes calls for with the newly milled potato flour, and see if it is any different from the original recipe. It will be if I sprinkle it with said home-milled potato flour. Oh, the power of the mind! Thanks for the fun this morning!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! What a fun story. I especially love the Bimbo Bakeries. Whoever thought of that one...wow.
ReplyDeleteOK the most interesting (and funny) part of this is that you can wake up and laugh that hard in the morning!!!!! I don't even want to read my email before noon...can't see, can't think! but Potato Bread come on Idaho...seriously I'm kind of loving the bimbo Bakeries....there has got to be a story behind that, come on girlfriend write to them, give us another possible laugh...bimbos gone straight, moved to a farm, grew potatoes, had to many....wala Bimbo Bread!!! xo
ReplyDelete