Extreme Soccer

Soccer is a year-round sport at our house. Mostly because the The Man and The Little Man insist on playing soccer in my kitchen no matter what the season. They think this is an especially fun game when I'm trying to cook. Since there is no stopping this train I made up a rule: The first one to break the next appliance that needs replacing "wins" and I will throw them a party. They are very competitive. Now I have a new dishwasher and a new oven.  And a new rule: the first one to damage the oven or dishwasher...dies. Go for the cabinets!

With spring on the calendar (and warm weather somewhere) we are about to embark on a new season of soccer. But first let's recap organized winter soccer where I live. And by organized, I mean not in my kitchen.

Organized winter soccer around here used to include the following options: 1. Indoor soccer; 2. Indoor Futsal; and 3. Indoor ESPN, with the buddies and Doritos.

I LOVE indoor soccer. It's face-paced and rough, especially as the boys get bigger. And I actually kind of like seeing them push and shove each other around. It gives me hope in the future of manly men. This is what The Little Man has done for winter fun for years.

But everything changed in 2009. Enter a new "state of the art" soccer complex completed just down the street and around the corner from where I live. I don't know about you, but I have come to equate the term, "state of the art", to the statement, "Who the heck thought that up?" Don't get me wrong here. This facility is huge and beautiful. But here is a shortlist of what they thought up:

12 lighted, all season, synthetic fields with scoreboards - hint: "all season" means "all seasons"
A field cooling system - because synthetic fields get hot
Evaporative cooling fans by the players benches - because synthetic fields get hot
Field misting fans - because synthetic fields get hot
Field sprinklers - because synthetic fields get hot
Field heaters to melt snow and ice - because synthetic fields get snowy and icy
Special field snow plows to clear snow and ice - because synthetic fields get snowy and icy
A large field house and concessions stand designated as secure shelters in the event of a tornado
A PA system equipped to notify everyone of said tornado
Fields designed to drain off 10 inches of rain per hour

It's like an exercise in extremes. In fact, I call it Extreme Soccer (and sometimes, Extremely Stupid Soccer). Pretty much the only thing they cancel games for is more than 4 inches of snow, large hail, or lightning. And let's be honest here, have you ever seen 10 inches of Rain per hour in the Midwest without its accompanying buddies, Hail and Lightning?

To make a long story short (too late, I know), The Little Man's team opted for the The Extreme Soccer experience in the 2009-2010 winter session. Photos of this were captured by The Man on his cell phone. (I was hunkered down in 14 sleeping bags, watching feeble cheers turn to ice crystals as soon as they escaped my mouth. Fascinating, really.)

In the next three weeks we will finish up our 2010-2011 winter soccer session. We switched teams this year and gladly exchanged The Extreme Soccer outdoor experience to move back indoors to enjoy our winter soccer.

In one rough, climate-controlled, indoor game a Man Mark was the result:

We all think it was worth it!