If It Makes You Feel Any Better

You should know that this is what really makes me feel better...

Jelly Belly Sours. 
Because my DNA dictates that I be addicted to sugar.

Here is a true story I've been dying to share!

Just after Kid Two had her own Kid One, The Man and I were hungry. So we went from the hospital to the local soup and sandwich shop to get soup and sandwiches. The Man ordered steak soup with cornbread on top. Because it's a manly soup. But when we got back to the hospital he found there was no cornbread on top. And not one piece of steak in his entire cup of soup. This was really disappointing. Because The Man needs his steak.

Well, on day two after Kid Two had her own Kid One we went back to the same soup and sandwich shop and tried again. (We didn't really go there to try again. We went there because Kid Two really wanted it instead of hospital food. And what new moms want, new moms should get, right?) Anyway, day two at the soup and sandwich shop went something like this:

The Man walks to the counter and says, "You know, I'm not quite sure what to get. Yesterday I ordered the steak soup and it didn't have even one piece of steak in it."

Counter Girl says, "It didn't? Well, if it makes you feel any better the first time I tasted that soup it was so hot it burned my tongue."

The Man and I look at her. Then at each other. Then at her. Then back at each other. All I could squeak out was a very weak, "Oh..... " (Long pause.) "Well, it didn't have any cornbread on it either." The counter girl says nothing.

So The Man tries again (he wants something), "Well, I was just wondering if there is anything you can do for me because of that. I mean, it was a really disappointing experience yesterday." (He was being truthful. It was.)

Counter Girl, "No. There really isn't."

The Man, "Well, do you have a manager or someone here who can?"

Counter Girl, "No. But if it makes you feel any better someone else prepares the food. I just take the orders."

Again, The Man looks at me. I look at The Man. We both look at Counter Girl. Completely speechless. (If you know The Man, you know this is doesn't happen often.)

The Man breathes in deeply and tries one more time, "So, you can't even throw in a cookie or anything?"

Counter Girl, "Nope. But if it makes you feel any better my manager made me come to work on New Year's Eve when I was sick and my cat died and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep."

What?!?!

You cannot even imagine the looks that were exchanged between The Man and me and Counter Girl at this point!! I am absolutely positive that the words "confused", "dumbfounded", "What the heck?", and "Did she really just say that?", were written plainly across every inch of our furrowed foreheads.

And we didn't say a word. Nothing. We just stared at Counter Girl. Incredulously.

As we walked off, The Man muttered, "Idiot." I muttered, "Um...pretty sure that didn't make me feel any better."

But by the time I got to the car I was giggling uncontrollably. The whole exchange had been so absurd! All I could think was, "If it makes you feel any better I had to work on New Year's Eve when my cat died..."

I giggled all the way back to the hospital. Then I laughed when I told the story to Kid Two. She laughed, too.

And now we have a new phrase when someone in our house is whining... "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I had to work on New Year's Eve..."

(We never really leave the cat part off, 'cause it's the BEST!)

And then we giggle.

Turns out that in the end it really did make me feel better. :-)